they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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