I don't usually arrange sex via text message
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
birth control should be required to get into college
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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