on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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