When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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