this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
