help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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