Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(317): View more from Indiana

im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.

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(650): View more from California

I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?

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(317): View more from Indiana

I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.

(1-215): View more from Pennsylvania

welcome to the club.

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(937): View more from Ohio

Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.

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(702): View more from Nevada

I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?

(1-702): View more from Nevada

Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.

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