It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
