He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
