It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
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She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
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I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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