Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
