we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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