who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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