How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
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