no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Randomize