Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
