hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize