I can tuck mytits in my pants
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Randomize
