Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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