oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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