Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
