How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
