You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
