haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
