This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
