I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
