I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
