I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I AM VODKA MAN
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
