Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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