If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
