oh god the rape fog is back!
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
