maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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