Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Text me some of your sweat
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