question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Houston, we have a squirter
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
