I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
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