I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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