Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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