You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
