i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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