no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
