toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
