If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
