Nicole vs. Life
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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