somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
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