I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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