hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
