We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
babies were throwing up all over the place
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Randomize
