I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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