I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
