So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
