Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
