she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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