you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
