Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
