i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
