I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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