OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
me + whiskey = a bad person
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Randomize
