The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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