he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
