we made out on top of his cat.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
