My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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