I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
