I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
