She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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