Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize