It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
