Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
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I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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