Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
